i have trouble not believing everything i think…call it grandiose, but i think i have an intuition for these type of things. my eyes flicker as they meet yours, my tongue is at the edge of my lips and i’m begging for more.
you love just enough to where you know you could hate me if you needed. you toggle between all consuming and at arms length. you fuck up and then perfectly apologize. you hold me accountable then shut me out. it’s like having a magic 8 ball around. we have it all yet i’m at danger of losing both you & myself. of course, i’m almost certain it’s my fault.
there’s gaps. gaps in time, gaps in people but most scary of all gaps in who you are. how to reconcile the beautiful you to the one that picks desire over me. how to reconcile with the one that picks desire over me. how to differentiate between the former and the latter. how to convince myself that some things are forgivable.